For one thing you must remind yourself that there was a reason that you broke up in the first place. And if you skip this step you run the danger of making the same mistakes again. You do not want this to happen because ultimately you want to get back together with your ex forever and not just temporarily.

It is therefore important not to only think about the good times after the break up but also to force yourself to look past the loneliness and also think about the problems and frustrations you faced during the relationship.

Be honest during this step and assess what you want out of the relationship. Here you can weigh up the good with the bad before making any decisions about the future of the relationship.

The reality is that some relationships are better left broken up. These are the relationships where there is more fighting than loving. After all couples need to make each other happy and if this is not the case when you and your ex are together then you should maybe consider moving on.

After you did your soul searching and you still want to get back together with your ex then all is not lost. You certainly can salvage the relationship after a break up.

Firstly you should avoid stalking your ex. Not only stalking in the sense of following them around but also to not repeatedly bombard them with phone calls, emails and text messages. Even following them on social networking sites falls under the category of stalking. Avoid this act of desperation.

Secondly when you do speak with your ex avoid pleading and begging them to take you back. Although you may feel bad about things which happened in the past you need to look past this and look to the future and concentrate on that instead.

At present the relationship is over but the presence is where you can make a difference so avoid doing things which may hurt your chances going forward in your effort to get back together with your ex.

Give them some space and when you do talk with your ex bring up the fun times you had together and the things you like about them.

Let us look now how you can win your ex back without playing head games:

1. Only call them to “keep in touch” or on special occasions. Be careful to not overdo it. It will be difficult considering that you were used to speak to them every day but this way you keep the door open for reconciliation.

When trying to win back your ex sending them a small gift on their birthday can only work  in your favour.

2. What you also can do is to email them some information which they will enjoy. Like a news story or information about their favourite band. You can even send out jokes or personal updates to your friends and then make sure your ex is on the responder list.

3. If you are serious about getting back together then you should not sleep around or even date someone else. Once again contrary to some advice you want to avoid making them jealous. You should listen to that little voice whispering in your ear “What if you do get back together?”

4. Keep your real emotions to yourself. You do not want your ex to dictate the future. So avoid spilling out all of your deepest emotions to your ex by telling them you cannot live without them. As soon as the balance of power shifts to your ex then you risk getting back together on their terms which will not be healthy for you going forward in the relationship.

5. Do not sit on your laurels. Use this time to improve your mind and body. Exercise regularly, change your look and spend time on self improvement not only for your ex but also for yourself. In no time you will start feeling good again about your future.

As you can see the key to winning back your ex is to avoid playing head games in order to get them back but instead to go out and build a strong foundation for the future.

For one thing, you must be realistic when you approach this task. You need to be dedicated and have enough patience to see this through. However, you also need to keep in mind that you cannot force someone to love you so you must also be prepared to walk away when all your efforts to win back love fail.

To start of your challenge to win back love you need to figure out what were the reasons for the relationship not working out. You need to look at what you did wrong as well as what your ex did wrong during the relationship. It is important to address these issues and try and rectify them. If you don’t take these steps then both of you will more than likely make the same mistakes again?

If you messed up then you need to apologize and your goal should be to work towards regaining your ex’s trust again. Slowly, but surely are the keywords here. Do not try and force your ex in trusting you.

Rather show them through your actions that you are prepared to work on your mistakes, and that you are dedicated in fixing the relationship. In addition, also important is that you must be truthful regarding your intentions and make sure you are doing this for the right reasons. Wanting someone back because you are lonely is not the right reasons. So make sure you are doing this for the right reasons.

Now you can work towards fixing the mistakes made. If you need to liven up the relationship then do that. If you need to work on communicating better with your ex then do that. If they need space to work things out for themselves then give them space.

Do not over complicate things during this stage. If you need to do something in order to win back the love of your ex then you must simply do it. After all you do want them back. Don’t you?

As you can see it is important to know what went wrong in the first place and only then you can work towards fixing the mistakes made and by doing this you will be able to prevent making these mistakes again.

All of this may take some serious time and effort on your part but the returns on your investment will make all this worthwhile.

It is important for you to look into your role in the failure of the relationship not only for the purpose of rectifying these mistakes but also to ensure these mistakes are avoided in the future.

When looking into the mistakes made by you do not be too harsh on yourself. Making mistakes is part of being human. What you do after these mistakes is the important part.

Take some time and have a hard look at the issues that caused the relationship to end. You can only influence your actions so concentrate on them and do not use this time to try and look what your ex did wrong. That is something for the future.

Now when you identified your mistakes you need to ask yourself if these mistakes can be forgiven. If you feel some of these mistakes made by you are unforgivable do not let that get you down. Human relationships have proven itself to withstand any kind of obstacle so do not at any stage lose hope.

What you need to do is to try and identify anything, which might have had an influence on you making these mistakes.

Especially mistakes made, which might have been out of character for you.

If you look hard and truthfully you might find that something like stress at work, illness, family issues etc. could have had an influence on your behaviour.

If there were any kind of outside influence, which might have had an impact onto you making mistakes during the relationship you need to sit down and talk to your ex and explain to them in detail about your discovery.

However, if your mistakes were purely because of you being selfish or thoughtless and had nothing to do with any kind of outside influence then you must face the facts that it was all about you and your character. You can fix any character flaw, but it will take some work and constant monitoring. If you are determined to get your ex back then it surely will be worthwhile to work on yourself.

Only when you reach a point where you have gained some perspective about all of your mistakes you can set up a meeting with your ex. Here it will be preferential to have a face to face meeting in a public place where it will be harder to get emotional.

When you have your face to face meeting with your ex you need to stay calm and focus solely on what you want to say to them. To get back with ex it is important now to apologize and ask for their forgiveness. Furthermore, listen to what your ex says because this will inform you what your next steps should be.

What you need to do to bring them to start thinking about getting back together is to infiltrate their world. And to do this successfully and to not alert them to what you are trying to do it is important that you are sneaky when interacting with them.

Now normally when someone is trying to get back an ex they are not ready to move on. They hang on to the hope that the relationship can be rescued. This creates a scenario where the one who wants to move on knows that the other person is reluctant to do just that. This makes them even more aware and they perceive that everything the other person does is an effort to get back together with them.

It is your job to change that perception.

Sneaky Mission One:

The first thing you should do is to let your ex think you are moving on. So go out and have some fun with your friends and hang out where your ex’s friends can spot you having a blast.

Now for this to work you should make it seem obvious to their friends that you are having fun and moving on. And whatever you do, do not advertise the fact that you are having fun and moving on to your ex. Let them hear it from their friends. The sneaky part here is that if you are moving on faster than your ex this might bother them. If this happens you infiltrated their mind by letting them start thinking about you again.

Sneaky Mission Two:

When you talk to your ex you must refrain from telling them all the things you are doing and the fun you are having. Instead make them aware that you are happy. And also tell them that they deserve to be happy as well. The sneaky part here is that you will make them feel more confident and good about themselves. And people are drawn to people who make them feel this way. What you also accomplished here is to have opened the door to future communications.

You need to be patient though. If you phone them to much they might get a sniff of what you are trying to do. Wait a few weeks and then call them up or send a text message asking them how things are going. The important thing to remember is that you must sound like an old friend trying to get back in touch and not like an ex who wants them back.

When your ex feels more confident about your motives they will start talking to you more and more. And when this happens just let them talk. They will value the fact that you are listening to them and the more they talk to you the more value they will attach to you for being there for them when they needed someone to talk to.

If you do this right you will be able to re-develop a friendship with your ex which they value and this might lead to your ex making the first moves in getting back together.

As you can see if you want to know “How to get back an ex?” you need to be sneaky. Sneaky when trying to let them think you are moving on and sneaky to get them to trust you by letting them feel good about themselves and then finally sneaky when trying to let them value your friendship and only then you can make your move to get them back.

If you suffer during a relationship break up it is normal to want to know “how to get ur ex back”. There are no manuals or books that can prepare you for going through a break up. It is tough and emotionally draining. And if you suffer badly during the break up and you want to know if you can get ur ex back then the answer is yes you can.

The approach you take though is important. You need to do things the right way. But before you begin you need to make sure that it is what you want. You must not let the feelings of loneliness and lost cloud your judgment and mask the reasons for why you broke up in the first place.

But if you know and feel that your reasons for wanting your ex back is genuine then you can start the process of winning them back and fix that which are broken in the relationship.

Here is 3 steps which will help you:

Step One: Start Dating Someone Else:

This may seem like the wrong advice but the part you must focus on here is “date”. Do not go and look for a new full time romance.

The step you take here serves two purposes. One is to measure how strong your feelings still is towards your ex. Obviously if during the date you are not thinking of your ex at all you must take this as a sign that maybe you are actually moving on.

And number two when dating someone else it will give you some time to reflect on the relationship you had with your ex as well as give you something to compare your relationship with.

If you get your answers or get some clarity after dating someone else and you still feel you want your ex back then you can move on to step two.

Step Two: You Got To Know What Went Wrong:

Know your history or you are doomed to repeat it. Sounds familiar. Well this is especially true when it comes to relationships. Find out what went wrong and then try to fix it to the best of your ability. Be honest with yourself and be prepared to work on the things that contributed to your break up.

Step Three: Slowly But Surely:

You got to have realistic expectations. Do not expect that things will be the same as before the break up. You are starting on a clean slate so let things progress slowly and naturally. Do not try and force things and push your ex into a new relationship. You got to put the work in to get the results.

So how to get ur ex back it is clear that you need to ask the tough questions and not be afraid to compare what you may have against what you had. After you are happy with the answers you get you can slowly work on getting your ex back.

Yes your situation is not unique or uncommon. People all over the world would like to have their ex lovers back.

What is unique though is how long after the breakup you are now deciding that you want them back.

But whatever your unique situation you can get them back even after they moved on.

Here are 5 tips you can use to help you win them back.

How To Get My Ex Back Tips:

Tip 1 – Become their friend. Your aim here is to become a good friend to your ex. You need to show them that you can have a healthy friendship with them without any drama. The advantage you have here is that you understand them so use this advantage. When you and your ex become good friends and the stress of the breakup and relationship subsided then maybe your ex will see you again as someone other than just a friend again.

Tip 2 – When you talk to your ex be nice to them but also don’t shy away from having a little bit of attitude. Although the purpose here is for your ex to want you back again you still need play some hard to get. This tip is not for you to start playing games but rather to keep your ex interested and not just to have them feel they can have you back whenever they want.

Tip 3 – When you play some hard to get you still need to make sure your ex knows you are available. Also do not rule out the strategy of going out with some friends and do some flirting. Some jealousy can help you in your situation but remember that if you use this tip there is a fine line to walk here. If your ex thinks you are unavailable they will not be motivated to pursue you.

Tip 4 – Do not act desperate. You need to show your ex you are willing to move forward and that you can be mature about everything that has happened. Doing the opposite will only diminish your shares with your ex because they will see you in a not so good light when you start acting and doing things out of desperation.

Tip 5 – Bring back the memories. Every time you get a chance you need to remind your ex of all the good times you two had together and how great a couple you made together. But the important thing here is that you need to do this casually and with some tact and not just bring up the memories every time you see them. You do not want to be too obvious in what you are trying to do.

So use these tips to help you in getting your ex back. How you use these tips and when you need to decide according to your situation but also remember to be true to yourself.

Even though you are yearning to get your ex back do not blind yourself with these emotions. There is a chance that getting them back is not possible so when you reach this point you need to face reality head on.

Well there are basically two things holding you back. The first thing is that after being dumped by someone the dynamic sort of changes.  There is a power shift taking place. And that shift is pulling to your ex and not you. Secondly you need to avoid wasting your time and efforts on things that do not work. Period.

So let us explore these two points:

Now when the balance of power shifts towards your ex they will have the upper hand. And when they know that you want them back often times they will exploit this new found position. They will make it harder for you to win them back. They know what you want and they will make you sweat for it. This may be unfair towards you but “you do want them back don’t you?”

Now what you must do is just to play it cool. Don’t declare your feelings or intentions about wanting them back until later. Keep this to yourself as long as possible. And try to stay away from your ex.

You must use this time away from your ex to keep yourself busy and do things that are not reminding you of your ex and your relationship. If you’re ex calls you keep it short and make it clear to them you are busy and you have to go somewhere. By doing this you will start to bring the power shift back to you again. You are thus aiming here to get the balance of power back to equal or on your side again.

Point number two:

The biggest mistake here is when you just make a nuisance of yourself. If you find it difficult not to call them or you think you can go around doing favors for your ex and thus by doing this you think your ex will see you as someone they need in their life then unfortunately you are wrong. This seldom works. What is more likely  to happen is your ex will only take advantage of this or will just become irritated by your constant approaches to get them back.

So to win back an ex you need to have a plan. You need a plan to what to do if you find it difficult to let go and a plan on how to keep yourself busy. The main lesson here is that before you even begin trying to get your ex back you need to give them time to miss you. And by doing this you will slowly but surely find out if they still have feelings for you.

And please remember that you cannot force someone to love you. If that feeling is gone it is better to move on.

To sum things up you need to make sure the balance of power does not shift to your ex by letting them abuse the position they find themselves in by you wanting them back desperately. Do not let them smell your desperation. And then you need to formulate a plan for yourself so that you can make it easier for yourself to keep your distance from your ex.

Only with time away from your ex will you find out if they still have feelings for you and you will not let them get the upper hand over you in the battle to get back together.

I say this because it is documented that most of the times a relationship can be salvaged if one of the partners involved at least tried to salvage it. But for some reasons they let their ego get in the way or they feel the mistakes they made is too big an obstacle to overcome.

But if you really want to get your ex lover back you need to put in the effort and at least attempt to win them back.

Here are some steps you can follow to help in your efforts. Use these steps correctly and be prepared to spend enough time on each step. How much time you spend on each step is dependent on your situation and thus you will be the only one able to judge if you did spend enough time on the step your currently on.

Firstly you need to be honest about the kind of relationship you had with your ex lover. Did it fall under an emotional up and down relationship or was it a more stable relationship with the occasional hiccups. This step is important because here you will be able to judge how much time it is going to take to get over the initial breakup.

Whatever category your relationship falls under you must at least cater for a month of alone time. This will be the starting point of the healing process. But once again you will be the only judge according to your situation how much time you use and need here.

Now during the next step you are going to use the alone time to analyze the mistakes you made during the relationship. And more importantly you need to forgive yourself. Before seeking forgiveness from your ex you need to first forgive yourself because that is the only way you can move forward and leave the past behind.

However the above step is not to just forgive and forget. You still need to remember the mistakes you made so that you can avoid future mistakes should you ever be faced with the same situations again.

So how to get your lover back it is important to spend enough time on the above steps. Do not take these steps lightly because sometimes you just need to take a step back and reevaluate the relationship. If you do this you will get your emotions in check and if you still want your ex back you can then approach them feeling confident that you are equipped to avoid future mistakes.

“Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” – Albert Einstein.

If you want to get back together with ex this quote has so much meaning regarding your situation.

The biggest mistake being made today when it comes to couples reconciling either in a marriage or in any other relationship is when they think they can just pick up the relationship where it ended and just pretend that everything is fine again and that nothing happened.

So be before you even attempt to get back together with your ex you need to ask yourself what makes you think that things will be different this time around?

The tough questions need to be answered. Questions like: Was it something you did or maybe both of you did that caused the relationship to fall apart? Did you take too long to resolve your issues? What on your part could you have done to change things?

If you were mainly responsible for the relationship not working out you owe it to yourself and your ex to sort out any problems you had prior to the break up. You need to address whatever personal issues you had before even contemplating wanting to get back together with your ex.  If you don’t take this step chances are the relationship will just follow the same path again.

If you’re ex were the one who had some issues you need to make sure they have taken steps to resolve these issues. If your ex don’t work on their own issues it is conceivable that you will wind up dealing with these issues all over again.

If the issues stem from both of you then the two of you should consider relationship counseling to help you with these issues and ensure you start the new relationship on the right foot.

You really should take this advice to heart especially if you want to avoid future pain and another broken heart. And when you do want to get back together with your ex you clearly still love your ex and you want the relationship to work.

So address the things that caused the relationship to end and stop the cycle of insanity!