To win back an ex can sometimes be very difficult. You can get to a point where you feel you tried about everything to get your ex back. Frustration and depression sets in and you throw your hands up in the air asking yourself “Now what?” Sounds familiar?
Well there are basically two things holding you back. The first thing is that after being dumped by someone the dynamic sort of changes. There is a power shift taking place. And that shift is pulling to your ex and not you. Secondly you need to avoid wasting your time and efforts on things that do not work. Period.
So let us explore these two points:
Now when the balance of power shifts towards your ex they will have the upper hand. And when they know that you want them back often times they will exploit this new found position. They will make it harder for you to win them back. They know what you want and they will make you sweat for it. This may be unfair towards you but “you do want them back don’t you?”
Now what you must do is just to play it cool. Don’t declare your feelings or intentions about wanting them back until later. Keep this to yourself as long as possible. And try to stay away from your ex.
You must use this time away from your ex to keep yourself busy and do things that are not reminding you of your ex and your relationship. If you’re ex calls you keep it short and make it clear to them you are busy and you have to go somewhere. By doing this you will start to bring the power shift back to you again. You are thus aiming here to get the balance of power back to equal or on your side again.
Point number two:
The biggest mistake here is when you just make a nuisance of yourself. If you find it difficult not to call them or you think you can go around doing favors for your ex and thus by doing this you think your ex will see you as someone they need in their life then unfortunately you are wrong. This seldom works. What is more likely to happen is your ex will only take advantage of this or will just become irritated by your constant approaches to get them back.
So to win back an ex you need to have a plan. You need a plan to what to do if you find it difficult to let go and a plan on how to keep yourself busy. The main lesson here is that before you even begin trying to get your ex back you need to give them time to miss you. And by doing this you will slowly but surely find out if they still have feelings for you.
And please remember that you cannot force someone to love you. If that feeling is gone it is better to move on.
To sum things up you need to make sure the balance of power does not shift to your ex by letting them abuse the position they find themselves in by you wanting them back desperately. Do not let them smell your desperation. And then you need to formulate a plan for yourself so that you can make it easier for yourself to keep your distance from your ex.
Only with time away from your ex will you find out if they still have feelings for you and you will not let them get the upper hand over you in the battle to get back together.